In our world today, social media floods our lives with news, famous people, what are friends are up to and other useless crap that keeps us entertained. As an Instagram user (and a frequent one at that), I follow A LOT of equestrian brands, pages, people etc. The equestrian in me relies on it for ideas, inspiration, and all that fun jazz. I have to know what the latest is on everything and everyone and see where they are in their riding journey. Now, I haven’t been doing this whole para-dressage thing for very long, and definitely have a very long road ahead of me. With all the up and coming para-dressage riders on the rise, it can be a little intimidating, especially when you’re trying to make it to the big leagues. As a small fish in a big pond, it can get really discouraging to see everyone improving, getting sponsors, doing well at shows; all the while knowing that that’s your competition. That’s who you have to beat to get to the top. Now, I’m young, I work full time, but I make my best effort to train as often as I can. I definitely feel like I’ve improved way beyond what I thought I’d be doing after 8 months of consistent riding. Yet, there’s this little voice that just constantly rubs me the wrong way and trying to make it go away can be so difficult. I’ve got me, myself and I trying to accomplish these crazy goals that I’ve set for myself. Does anyone else really care if I make it to the Paralympics or not? Is my family going to love me any less if I don’t make it? Probably no to both those questions. But at the same time, it’s hard to think that all this work would go for nothing! All the shows I’ve been to (which is very few compared to others, but we’re getting there), all the money that’s gone into this (and all the money I owe), and all the tears I’ve already cried. With the para-equestrian world growing as fast as it is, it’s hard to stand out. What makes you SPECIAL? What’s your STORY? Why should companies invest in YOU? It’s like your whole life you’ve stood separate from the crowd and suddenly you are the crowd! You work and work and yet the milestones and results you’re making seem small compared to what everyone else is doing. That’s why Instagram is both a curse and blessing. On one side, it allows you to cheer on and support your fellow competitor and encourage them when they might be having fits of doubt. On the other side though, it can really get to you, seeing all the progress they’re making and feeling like you’re living under a rock in the underworld somewhere where you’ll never get out of. Now, believe me when I tell you I’m a tough cookie, I don’t shy away from things very easily and have some big goals in mind. But at the same time, I’m still JUST a human. It’s hard to not let these things get to you, like REALLY hard. You have to push through and be ok that maybe you’re not the best you can be right now. But eventually, you’ll get there, right? It’s all about the journey, not the destination (Although I think that’s bs cause I’m totally a destination kind of gal). So, what do you do when EVERYONE you know is way out of the ball park in your sport? How do you catch up? How do you not let it tear you down?? Well, the first thing you do, is delete Instagram (just kidding.) But seriously! There have been a few times where I’ve gone rogue from social media cause I just can’t handle the social pressure. Trying to be as good as some of these other riders. Granted, they’ve been doing it for years compared to my measly months. But still, I want to be great! The second thing you do if you haven’t deleted Instagram… is you stay off of it. Now, I post pretty regularly, but that’s all I do, especially when I’m feeling discouraged and like I just can’t make it. I don’t bother looking at everyone else’s pages or posts. I just put my picture up and go about my day. Easy, simple. And then just try not to think about it, which can be so hard! Especially in the moment. When I’m at work and home, I’m fine. But when I’m training and thinking about where my future is going with this, that’s when it starts to creep in and bother tf out of me. Regardless, it’s important to keep my head up (and yours too if you feel this way), and lean on your support system. They are your lifeline during a thing like this. There’s not a lot of people going for something as big as this (but the people that are going for this, are way better than me). As independent and stubborn as I am, if I wasn’t able to talk to somebody about everything I’m feeling while going through all of this, I would’ve of not even thought about starting. So, moral of this blog/rant. Don’t focus on what everyone else is doing. Yes, they could have similar or even the same goals as you, and that’s ok. Everyone deserves to have their dreams and live them out. It’s ok if someone has more money, more sponsors and a better horse than you do too, because everything works out the way it’s supposed to. Are you scared? Yeah, well me too, so no worries. You just have to go out there and give it your all 100% of the time, and eventually you’ll get to where you want to be. So, someday, I’ll be competing at the Paralympics.
